Photocopiers
There was once a man who was founding a new business. He needed a photocopier, and there were three kinds he could buy: a yellow one, a blue one, or a red one.
The businessman went to the company who made the yellow photocopiers and asked the president why he should buy from the yellow company.
"Well," the president explained, "our copiers can copy just about anything. They're extremely well-designed, and very easy to use. They will never fail you."
"That's great," the businessman replied. "How much do they cost?"
"Five hundred dollars," the president answered.
"I'll consider it," the businessman said, and then he left. He went to the president of the blue company next, and asked him the same question.
The president was startled at first. "We don't sell copiers here," he said.
"Then what do you sell?" the businessman asked.
"We don't sell anything." The president explained that the blue company made plans for copiers, then distributed these plans to other people to make as they pleased, free of cost.
"So I have to make my own blue photocopier?" the businessman inquired.
"Yes," the president answered. "But our designs are very efficient, and free."
The businessman said he would consider this too, then left for the red company, and asked their president the same first question.
"Our photocopiers are much better than any other photocopiers you can find," he explained. "They can copy anything, they will always work, and they will work faster than anything else."
"How much do they cost?" the businessman asked, skeptical.
"Two hundred dollars," the president replied.
"I'll buy one," the businessman said. "How soon can you have it ready?"
"It'll be done tomorrow," the president said. The two men shook hands, and the businessman left for home.
Two days passed, and the businessman had not heard from the red president. So he went to the red company office again.
"Excuse me," he said to the president, "but weren't you going to have a copier for me yesterday?"
"Oh, yes, you," the president said, remembering. "Well, we've found some bugs in our system, and the copiers won't be ready until tomorrow. But they'll be there!"
"Some bugs?" the businessman asked.
"Nothing major," the president claimed. "Don't worry about it. Just small things that set back the production."
"Alright," the businessman said, and he left.
The next day, sure enough, a red photocopier was at his doorstep. He plugged it in and read the manual trying to figure it out. Later, he tried to copy something, and the copier broke.
The businessman called the red office. "I bought a copier from you, and it just broke," he said. The receptionist told him to bring it to the office. It was difficult, but the man eventually got the copier to the red office.
"I'm sorry," the president said, "I don't know what could have gone wrong. What did you do?"
"I just tried to copy something," the businessman stated, "and it stopped working."
The president cupped his chin in his hand and made a ponderous noise. "You must have done something wrong," he said.
"Well I don't know what it is, but I need to have this working for my business."
"Oh!" the president exclaimed. "You're using this for business?"
"Yes," the businessman replied.
"Well, you can't use this machine for that. You need a professional red copier!" The president led the businessman to a storeroom of 'professional' red copiers.
"How much will that cost me?"
"Three hundred dollars."
The businessman looked worried. "Can I trade in my old copier towards this new one?"
"I'm afraid not," the president said. "It's policy."
So the businessman threw away his old machine, bought a new, professional one, and brought it home. The new copier acted funny at times, and the businessman frequently had trouble getting things to work, but it never broke like the first one.
A few months later, the businessman got a call from the red president. "I thought I'd let you know," he said, "we have a new model of photocopier out. It works better and faster than the one you have now, and for the same price!"
The businessman thought for a moment. "My current copier hasn't been living up to the claims you made before. Why should I buy another from you?"
"Because it's better!" the president explained. "Better in every way. We're miles ahead of the other photocopier makers now!"
"Well, alright," the businessman said. "Can I trade in my professional copier towards the new model?"
"No, sir," the president said. "We don't do trade-ins."
The man sighed. "Alright, I'll try your new machine."
So the businessman bought a new red copier, professional model, for $300, and threw out the old one. He noticed that the new copier had several new features, and didn't give him as much trouble with what he used to do as the old machine - though it still frequently failed to work as intended with newer things. He also noticed that the copier looked slightly more yellow than the old one, though otherwise very similar to the previous machine.
This cycle of the businessman buying new red copiers continued for quite some time. The businessman grew well-acquainted with red copiers, and coping with their problems, and encouraged all his business partners to buy from them as well. The red company eventually started putting features into their copiers that could let different copy machines interact, and though it only worked between red machines, there was little complaining as almost everyone had them. The yellow company was doing relatively poorly, and no one ever heard of blue copiers anymore.
Years passed. One day the businessman went to visit a colleague on the other side of the country, and saw his offices. He saw that the colleague used yellow copiers.
"Why do you use yellow copiers?" the businessman asked.
"Because I like them," the colleague replied.
"But they're so expensive, and they never work."
"They are expensive," the colleague admitted, "but they always work. I've never had a problem with any of my yellow copiers, in all my years in the business."
"Isn't it hard to do business without being compatible with red copiers?" the businessman asked.
"Somewhat," the colleague answered. "But I do just fine on my own."
The businessman laughed. "Well," he said, "at least you don't have a blue copier."
"Actually, I do," he said.
"What?" The businessman was shocked. "Why on earth would you want a blue copier?"
"What's wrong with having a blue copier?" the colleague asked the businessman.
"They're horrible!" he said. "You have to build the thing yourself!"
"Yes, you do." The colleague went over to his desk and pulled out a small box.
"What's that?" the businessman asked.
"It's my new blue copier," the colleague said. "I built it myself with the newest plans, and a few modifications of my own. I have some bugs to work out, but it works just about as good as my yellow copiers, and it can do anything I want it to do."
The businessman scoffed at his colleague. "You're doing things the hard way," he said. "Why not just buy red copiers? It's what everyone does."
"Because red copiers can't do what I want them to do, they never work as well as my yellow or blue copiers, and they never last more than a few months."
The businessman, upset by his colleague's refusal to believe him, left. But before he exited the colleague's parking lot, he noticed another person getting in her car to leave: in her hands was a tall stack of blue paper in odd shapes, with shiny designs on them.
"Excuse me ma'am," the businessman said, "where did you get those copied?"
"Why, right here, of course," she said with a smile, then got into her car and drove away.
The next day the businessman called the red company president. "Why can't your copiers do that?" he asked, explaining the magnificent designs on the woman's papers.
"Our next model will be able to," the president said.
"Okay," the businessman said, "because I visited another company yesterday and saw that some yellow and blue copiers could do that."
"Don't believe that," the red president said vindictively. "It's a lie."
"What?"
"A lie that the blue company puts out. They get people to hand-copy things, then pretend they were done by machine. It's a lie to make blue copiers more popular.
"What's more," the president continued, "the blue company is continually stealing our ideas and claiming them for its own. As for yellow copiers, well, I suppose if you want to live in the past, you can use those."
The businessman chuckled. "Alright, alright, you've got me convinced," he said. "I just wanted to ask about those things."
"Like I said, they'll be out in our next model," the president said, sounding cheerful again. "The new model will be out next week. Do you want to pre-order one?"
"Absolutely," the businessman said.
A week and a half passed, due to problems with shipping, the red president said, but the businessman got his new copier. It didn't look red anymore, it looked more like it was orange. But it had dozens of new features, and less bugs than the last red copier.
The businessman made a lot of copies that day, and laughed at the yellow and blue companies for being so foolish.
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