"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
-Unknown
"Do not argue with a fool, as he might be doing the same thing."
-Quote from a forum
"It is the law, nay, the will of the universe that if a stupid question is asked, it must be replied to with a stupid answer."
-Mirkon
"The dead should not interfere with the affairs of the living."
-Numerous?
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: What about you, what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.
-A gem from Office Space
Peter Gibbons: It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
-Office Space again
"Silence is often more eloquent than words."
-Unknown
"Men and Women compliment each other with the unique traits each were given.
Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy, and laugh when they are nervous.
Women wait by the phone for a "safe at home call" from a friend, after a snowy drive home. They are childcare workers, executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms, biker babes, and your neighbors.
They wear suits, jeans, and uniforms. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up against injustice. They walk and talk the extra mile to get their kids into the right schools and to get their family the right health care. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart - they know that knowledge is power, but they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable. Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in houses, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want in return is a hug, a smile, and for you to do the same for people you come in contact with.
Men.. well, men are good at lifting really heavy shit."
-Unknown
"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
-Paraphrased Apple advertisement. Think different.
"Don't drink the water if it smells funny!"
-Golden Sun
"A wise man knows everything. A shrewd man, everybody."
-Fortune cookie
"Good clothes open many doors. Go shopping."
-Fortune cookie
"happiness is taking a 2,000 word assignment and turning it into a 525 word one"
-High-school student
Peter Gibbons: I don't like my job and I don't think I'll go anymore.
Joanna: You're just not gonna go?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Joanna: Won't you get fired?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know. But I really don't like it and, uh, I'm not gonna go.
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Uh-uh. Not really. I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: So you're going to get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'll like another job.
Joanna: Well what are you going to do about money? Bills?
Peter Gibbons: You know I never really liked paying bills, I don't think I'm going to do that either.
-Office Space
"I'm not lazy... my work ethic is not a high priority, and my basic rule is to do things on my own time... namely eating and sleeping if they dont take too much energy."
-Brandon Merrell
"A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults."
-Louis Nizer
"There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works."
-Will Rogers
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
"The only wise people in the world are those who realize their ignorance."
-Socrates
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-Franklin Delano Roosevelt
"Heaven is one fine evening and two fine women."
-Jesse 'God' Skene
"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
-Ernest Hemingway
"Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it."
-George Orwell
"Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind."
-George Orwell
"On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite all the time."
-George Orwell
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past."
-George Orwell
"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."
-George Orwell
"Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power."
-George Orwell
"A deep thought in a shallow mind is a disaster waiting to happen."
-Unknown
"Guns don't kill people. The government does."
-Dale Gribble, King of the Hill
"I will not sum up my existance in one line....damn I just did"
-Forum user Climpa
"Suicidal intentions vanish when you turn 20. Then you wish that all teenagers would just die already."
-Forum user MagicToaster
"The only problem with suicide is that you die. Everything else about it is perfect. Why does everything have to have a catch?"
-Forum user Ferret Druid
"I don't mind people expressing their opinion, unless they are dumb."
-Forum user damn posting limit
"Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese apartment, and an American wife."
-James H. Kabbler III
"Religion constantly reassures itself that it is right, while science constantly tries to prove itself wrong."
-Forum user Savok
"I love humanity. It's people I can't stand."
-Charlie Brown
"A true friend stabs you in the front."
-Oscar Wilde
"You come into this world defenseless, thats why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees... but we know what He meant."
-Christopher Titus, Titus
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use."
-Soren Kierkegaard
"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."
-Jack Handey
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
-Albert Einstein
"I need someone to motivate me... Or to just do it all for me, which would be fine."
-Forum user Ferret Druid
"Forget love. I want to fall in chocolate."
-Forum user Blatantly Female
"If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics."
-Will Rodgers
"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it."
-Jack Handey
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."
-Unknown
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".
-Philip K. Dick
"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."
-Plato
"The animal 'rights' movement, however, is not about the humane treatment of animals. Its goal is the animalistic treatment of human beings."
-Edwin Locke, Ph.D.
"If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone."
-Michael Corleone
"Oh, passion is for teens and immigrants."
-Marge Simpson, The Simpsons
"Carnivores are higher on the food chain than vegetarians. Think about it."
-Mirkon
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
-Woody Allen
"I'm still an atheist, thank God."
-Woody Allen
"If only we could stop murdering one another we could be a wonderfully humorous species."
-Arthur Miller
"I think we should try to appreciate the little things in life more. Y'know...like midgets."
-Forum user AggroSk8er
"Sounds like we need a big Empire to rule the world with a kind fist. No more war. Only friendly oppression."
-Forum user Zealous Slacker
"With the joy of responsibility comes the burden of obligation."
-Hank Hill, King of the Hill
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
-Voltaire
"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on."
-Robert Byrne
"There are two things in this world... Things you can eat... And things you no can eat."
-Forum user Quina
"Violence could not be the solution, but I guarantee you'll be smiling the whole time."
-Forum user KatThePoet
"The way I see it, the world would be a better place without me, that's why I'm still here."
-Forum user Old Nasty Bastard
"You keep the palm of your hand rigid. Then you snap your rist and whip your fingers down on to the ball of your hand. Ta-da, one hand clapping, I can do it easily."
-Forum user Greham II
"I was going to kill myself... But, I think I might just kill you instead."
-Forum user Ferret Druid
"I don't believe in nuns."
-Forum user ElFreakoKid
"First, God made the Irish. Then He made beer so they wouldn't take over the world."
-Forum user IrishGuy
"Why go to work when you can just stay home and shoot people?"
-Forum user solid snake
"Im a minister... But I've lost my faith... But I did find a pretty good parking place on the way here... But the lord works in mysterious ways so who the hell knows."
-Reverend Hubert, King of the Hill
"The people I've met who do great work rarely think that they're doing great work. They generally feel that they're stupid and lazy, that their brain only works properly one day out of ten, and that it's only a matter of time until they're found out."
-Paul Graham, "Great Hackers"
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. "
-Napoleon Bonaparte
"Denying even the possibility of the Extraordinary reduces you to the Mundane."
-Osore Kage
"There are two types of tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it."
-Yuri Orlov
"There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?"
-Yuri Orlov
"They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails.""
-Yuri Orlov
"Someone once asked me if this is the way that I want to be remembered. I told them that I don't want to be remembered. Because if I am being remembered, then I am dead."
-Yuri Orlov
"Governments are changed more often by bullets than votes."
-Simeon Weisz
"You never really live until you find someone worth dying for."
-Andrew Hynes
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
-Groucho Marx
"If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it."
-Emerson Pugh
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
-Hunter S. Thompson